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Sunday, March 23, 2003::

"Daydream"



Sitting in this large room, with people everywhere
It seems so small, so lonly, like no one else is there
The conversations laugh and roar
But my thoughts are all that's clear
My mind is lost among this crowd of people standing near




So yeah. Why are you still reading this? I wonder if anyone is even reading this at all. I wouldn't be surprized if no one did. But yeah. Life's been up and down but right now it's ranging in between it all. I'm either rather fine or kinda down. You know how those times are? And when people ask you what's wrong you don't have much else to say but "fine". Ah, "fine" . . . the automated response. But I'm not extreamly sad or extreamly happy because, well, I don't know if everything's going to turn out my way. I'm risking a lot right now . . . friendships, other people's frinedships. What's up with that? I think I'm about ready to go into hiding and just get away from everyone . . . Which isn't fun and makes me want to go back to the bad way of life . . . but I can't do that because I have a future with better friends, right? Well that's what I don't know. I don't think I'll ever be actually excepted somewhere. The many ways my life could turn out:


-I go back to the bad way of life - screw up my already slightly crumpling and worthless reputation - and end up getting killed


-I go back to the bad way of life - screw up my already slightly crumbeling and VERY worthless repuation - and end up killing myself in some public place in front of tons of people

-Go into hiding and become a mole . . . become physically sick because I'm always stupidly depressed because I avoid people and social situations in fear of being rejected so I just grow to hate everyone and myself and end up either killing myself or dying from a heart attack. (both are probably very likley)

-Try to move towards a good way of life and leave behind many people. Become very very intune with God and become good and obediant and work very hard on my grades and try and get into some very good collage and stuff.

Man. That's all depressing. *smacks self* *sighs and kicks people* ech. Actually I don't think I'm depressed, I think I'm just bored. I've just been trying to entertain myself today.
It's not fair. My lil' sister naggs for a rabbit and they actully take her to go look at rabbits at the pet store!! (of course ther were none) ((I saw the ferrets...and I wanted one. But that's irrelivant)). Then we went to Walmart . . . and my brother got a video game. And my dad got shoes. And I get nothing -_- gees!

So no DDR or a ferret for me . . . they're both about the same price. Oh well. No one cares. Shut up.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:33 PM:-