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Sunday, March 27, 2005::

It's Easter Again

So, it's 1:14 in the morning, it's officially Easter. A time where everybody gets dressed up in their nicest Easter Sunday clothes and people who only go to church twice a year come out to go to Easter Services.

Yyyeeeah..

Last year comes to my mind, now let me inform you . . . that my parents never go to church. Ever. Yyeeah. They are one of those people who say "We should go to church"
and i'll say "well, why don't you come with me?"
and they just...don't answer.

So it's last year, the day before Easter I had asked my family to come to church with me for Easter Sunday. Easter morning comes and I get dressed (in my normal clothes) and I walk out of my room and everyone in my house is awake and my family is busy watching TV nbot dressed at all. "...are you guys coming?"
"Coming where???"
"..."
"To church with me?"
"oh, well you didn't ask us"
>.< !!!!!!!

So by that point I was boilding mad, usually I just blow it off because I don't want to say something I might regret, but I was ticked off, all that was running through my mind was how much I hated them and how I wished i had a NORMAL family that had any traditions and did things as a family and all I could think of was how I wanted my fmaily to be like Nathan's. Well, this is where I made my biggest mistake, while my mom was dropping me and my sister off at church all I could do was compare her to Nathan's fmaily and Nathan's mom. And I just kept going on and on, So my mom cracked and basically told me off pretty good. She said stuff about how we may not do great things in my fmaily but that we do some things and that it's good enough, and that she's not Nathan's mom and doens't want to be.
Well, I was terribly ashamed and still angry and embarassed and upset.

So Easter Sunday all I could do was cry the entire time durring the service. The ENTIRE TIME. From the moment I walked in to after I left the service. People were turning around looking at me, asking me if I was okay, Nathan had his arm around me the entire service, and all I could do was cry on his shoulder...

When I got home I was immediately called into my dad's room where I got screamed and cursed at by my father who was more pissed off than my mom was at my attitude from before. I had already been upset and dredding confronting him. He told me I was to apologise. So I left and I did, I apologised to my mom.


So even though my fmaily has faults, I'm not faultless either. I think that's the Easter Lesson. I'm not perfect. And I'm not going to even try to appear to be perfect tomorrow either. i'm going to walk in, in jeans and a T-shirt without my family, and I'm going to praise God like I normally do. No fancy clothes, no visions of fake family perfection. It's just going to be like every other day...

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 1:10 AM:-

I live for You alone!

...every breath that I take, every moment I'm awake, Lord have Your way in me...

So I've been [retty much happy as of late. I don't know, I just feel hope.

Yesterday me and Melissa went to the beach with two of her friends from her school. It was amusing, it basically consisted of me and Melissa walking all the way down the Jedi's and the two friends tanning the entire time. We walked back and them I layed down and Melissa burried my feet in sand. lol. Then we built a wall around a big hole.

So then I went home...and I ate FOOD. Yeah. Sheesh!

Afterwards me and Melissa did our traiditional Friday Night go-to-Shy-Pond and swing on the swing set. Haha, we're such little kids. There's always lots of "empty"-looking cars parked at Shy Pond but no one is ever outside. o_o sooo creepy.

Then we went to sonic and I had enough quarters for a rootbeer float. Yes! teehee.

...more....

I'm feeling pretty good about going to school now, except, not to class to do work, because I've been easily bored lately. B)

Tomorrow in Sunday! I love Sundays.

Work

I just got done putting coupons for cuts & more on people's windshelds for two hours. o_o I am tired. Apartments are scarey places. Two hours for under minumum wage...Not only is it for underminimum wage... but that place is owned by my family, so I'm getting paid under miminum wage by my /family/! >.>

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 12:19 PM:-

Ameh speaks

This would be a good time for a song quote, however, I'm not on my computer and can't recall them from memory. Meow. =^..^=

So it turns out I am heterosexual. heh, go figure.

Diet drinks are nasty.

I don't want time to pass so quickly, but also I want it to pass by REALLY FAST.
What can I have to offer the future? I have some big thing waiting for me, but I don't feel prepared for it.

I was reading blogs today, like everyday, and I realized after reading a friend's blog that I don't thinik I can come up with a list of my favorite people. Heh. Mostly because I don't feel like that's really fair. Sure, I have the people who talk to me all the time and are truly my friends . . . but I also feel like I like other people who don't even consider ME their firends. Augh.


Jacket

I went to school today and I didn't wear my jacket at all. AT ALL. Anyone who knows me knows how big of a deal this is for me. I have no desire to show off my arms, and I always feel naked and cold. Yeah. Maybe tomorrow I'll wear my hair up. Wow, I'm turning into a girl.


Uhh.. I'm going to go bore myself with class today now. If you want to call me and interupt me, please, oh please do.

EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention, this is March which means I have officially been blogging for 2 YEARS!!!!! That's a lot of worthless writing. But I've still had my blog for almost 3 years. (Yeah, I forgot about my blog for a year, oops)

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:25 PM:-

Boop
Rawr. So, Blog posty. I'm sorry I've been all rawr and depressidly for a little while. It happens. So, tonight . . . I get to miss churcha nd go to college class. *freakin'0 squee* ooook. I'm, uh, going to work on my Poetry/Literature blog...bye

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 4:58 PM:-

Evaluation

So this post isn't really about my day, which was . . . something or other.

This post is about evaluating myself.

and i typed up this big long post...but ti ahrdly seems worth it right now.

merg, just enjoy crap:

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 12:05 AM:-

FULLY NINJA you scored 4% pirateness and 71% ninjaness!

WHOA! I pity any pirate who runs into you when you're fully pumped. Wow. A true Ninja. If you have a moment, and I shall be surprised if you've never been here, please go to www.realultimatepower.net to celebrate your ninjahood and your fellow ninjas. Wow (now that's some high quality Ninja)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 2% on pirateness You scored higher than 91% on ninjaness

Link: The be ye pirate? or be ye ninja? Test written by lucindyation on Ok Cupid

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 12:29 PM:-

Humorus Homosapius

So I've been thinking, yeah I hear the moans, I've been thinking that all the friends I have I am able to be friends with because they understand my humor Go figure. However, it surprizes me sometimes to realize that there are people out there who ahve NO CLUE about what i'm talking about, and why the crap it's so funny to me. Well let me explain...

I should probably have realized by now that other people see things in different views. If I said that my computer DIED . . . they would just be confused because they can not PERSONIFY an inanimate object. If they don't react this way, they often become upset over the words "die" and have no idea what I mean by such.

OK, so I broke it down into 4 catagories of what I am, the the opposites and how to better understand the Amy. Allright? Now sit tight for a little analysistic rambeling . . .

• Spastic vs Connected or Random vs Purposely
  

Ok, my humor is very random, and spastic, therefore my friends also tend to be thus. Some people do everything so DELIBERATELY, maybe they will never make a comment until it's the PERFECT time, or perhaps all their jokes are durring 'joking time' and everything is connected and smooth, however they live with no random humor. Humor doens't live in their lives. They are dull, until asked not to be, then they will open up to reveal . . . more dulldom. The fact of life is . . . Random is freaking hilarious and is what allows people to see that the world can be humorus on it's own. Insanity is hilarious. Sanity is for the birds. If you can't deal with a rabid Amy who will look at you...twitch and start gnawing on a pencil rabidly, then you, my friend . . . are not my friend! *boot*

• Emoticon vs Unfeeling
  

Ever notice these little guys? ^_^ ^^ =^-^= <("<) ^('')^ o_O x.X <,< V.V ;; XB XD ????
Yeaaahh... they actually MEAN something. They represent E.M.O.T.I.O.N. Get it? Like FEELINGS? I can understand when someone is new they may not see the smilies and that they represent faces . . . but when after you are explained you STILL can not get it and consistantly ask me what is that, what does that mean, why do i do that. ....!!! I think I'm just going to shoot the next person who asks me that. I have smiley face expressions . . .
=^-^= this is shy and blushing amy...tee-freaking-hee
^-^ this is happeh amy. Lookit me, I'm CUTE!
<("<) this is the dancing kirby smiley, used when feeling like dancing!
o_O is my *raised eyebrow* or *disturbed* smiley. I use it a lot. Get used to it.
x.X this is my dead smiley, also used in combo with my *raised eyebrow* or *disturbed smiley like this... x.O o.X X.o O.x
<.< is my "WTF?" smiley or it can also be a *disturbed* smiley
V.V is sleepy or ashamed smiley.
;; is the sad and crying smiley
XD is EXTREAMLY HAPPEH SMILEY OMG!
XB is nerdy buck-toothed smiley.

"How am I suppose to know what you mean it for, like are you disturbed by me, or are you raising your eyebrow??"

Use common sense, and yes, I am disturbed by you.

• Exaggeration vs Accuracy vs Minimizing
  

So here's a little known fact about my self . . . I exaggerate . . . a lot. Not nessisarily that I really mean it to be exaggerated, it's just a part of my VOCABULARY humor.
When I say that something has died . . . there's probably a 1/1000 chance that I don't actually mean that it has DIED. So stop freaking out on me. "OMG?! DIED?!?!" No, just broken, or temporarily went unavailable. I say that inatimate objects died a lot. I find it mroe interesting to say "my computer died" than "my computer booted me off unwantingly" Yaaaa...
ANOTHER ONE! I say "steal" a lot. "I stole a cookie from the kitchen" doe snot ctually mean I STOLE it. I think this one is the worst. I say the word steal and suddenly I'm getting glares and hatred vibes. Yikes, guys! I didn't actually steal it! "Steal" in my vocabulary innocently means "get" or "take", but I wouldn't actually steal something. Good Golly God Almighty, stop harassing me X.X.
Exageration! It's what I doooooooo! Darn your Accuracy people, and the minimizers? Who the crap would really do that? i'm sure there's some. "Oh, it was nothing" now YOU people need the psychological therepy!

• Morbid - Encouraging
  

Blood and blood and pain and death . . . all things that people tend to be the most afraid of, to even TALK about. Not me, nope. I've been to a thousand funerals, death does not phase me. My dad could die today and i'd be like "yup...my dad died today, how's your life?" PAIN can phase me . . . however, I generally have no problem tlaking about pain. And blood. Yup, no problem. I tell lots of stories . . . and a lot of them that amuse me are the gorey ones. And it alwsys really shocks me when I'm telling a story and I havn;t even gotten to the best part and suddenly eveyrones frekaing out going "NNNOOOOOOO, OMG STOP! AAAH, YOU'RE GING TO MAKE MY VOMIT AND/OR CRY!" and i'm just like *confused and feels rejected*


Poor confused and rejected Amy....



So I realised, pretty much all my best friends can understand my humor. And all the people I wonder if they are brain dead . . . are not my friends. Wow, go figure. But just incase somone stumbles on my blog and is like, "Wow, this prsn is like spking a dif lang, y r they tping out their words?!" I could probably look at you right back and say "Yeah, they type in short hand, truly they are the n00bs of the century. Please, shoot yourself, for the good of humaity"


End Rant =^-^=

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:10 AM:-

(8) Spring Break (8)

Yesterday I cleaned house aaaaaallllllll day long, my room is actually suitable for people to live in now. So I cleaned my house all day only so that Matt could come over and play games for an hour. Well, that was crappy, 1 hour?? Thanks dad! <,<
And my dad gets pissed at me for stupid things, "He's not that one kid that Nathan brought over that one day who was BAD and *complaincpmplain*" "no, dad, that was Robbie, ugh can you stop talking about it? You tell me all the time, I've heard it a thousand times you don't have to say it again."
"Yes I do when I'm making a point!"
"ok, dad" *goes to kitchen to get a drink*
"Oh and Amy"
"yeah?"
"You don't correct me! I am the dad and you do NOT correct me!"
"k"


ooohhh...what I REALLY wanted to say though... *cracks knuckles*

Sorry, little things like that piss me off. I didn't say anything becuase I value my spring break and value Matt coming over more than the 2 second satasfaction of beating my dad's head in before he turns around and beats mine in 3x better. One day I'm running away... >.>

Anyway, it was fun running people over in Grand Theft Auto, heh heh, I'm sure I traumitized Matt he was all "Noooooo......you destroyed my taaaank! *sob*"

**********Matt, honestly, I can't type your name. I'm pretty sure I am habitually trying to type "Amy" so your name comes out "AMtt" I think I'm just going to call you that for now on >.>

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 1:07 PM:-

[ insert "Outside" by Staind ] If I ever kill myself, it'll be to this song...

And you
Bring me to my knees
Again
All the times
That I could beg you please
In vain
All the times
That I felt insecure
For you
And I leave
My burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I felt like this won't end
Was for you
And I taste
What I could never have
It's from you
All the times
That I've tried
My intentions
Full of pride
But I waste
More time than anyone

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I've cried
All this wasted
It's all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be OK

But I'm on the outside
And I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you



blogger officially hates me, but i sitll love it.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:59 PM:-

Less Than 31337

Tha all Girls Gaming party went awesomely! A group of us girls compiled at annie's house and we have a grea time. Yes, we ended up sleeping, except for Sarah on the 2nd night but yeah. I feel like i know everyone a little better now, which is really cool. So after twod ays of basically living on candy and caffeine i'm hoping for real food. Also I've rediscovered my liking for video games and stole my brother's PS2 and stuck it into my room. w00t. Which I can do now. One of the ebst parts was when me and Annie were playing each on our TV's and all of a sudden the POWER goes out. and we just stare at eachother in pain and shock. Greatness. Another one would be the fire ants. Gooot to love the fire ants.

LEss Than Myself

I msis Melissa a lot, it's only Monday and I feel like crying on her shoulder. I need a replacement Melissa for the week. heh >.> And I regret telling someone something that I said to them today. I wish I could take it all back, I wish I was better than myself. I can wish all I want and nothing's going to happen. i'm goign to be glad when I graduate... Maybe I'll just leave this place. I'm really tired of being ignored. I'mf eleing too much right now, I need to quit feeling. But in the end...I'm confused. Save me.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:28 PM:-

;;

I think I've crashed. At Tsunami God was talking with me about things in my life which involved how I always feel so inferior to everyone. I feel UNWORTHY to be in people's presence, I fele UNWORTHY to speak my unimportant words into their eharing range. And also He was speaking to me about how my loneliness was going to end soon. So I had written it down, and keot it with me. I wans't going to feel inferior around people anymore, I wasn't going to be alone anymore.
So that Sunday night we came and we were just cleaning up the church afte Tsunami. I'd never felt more useless in my life. I was walking around like a numb zombie. I'd never felt mroe alone in my life in a croud of people. No one came up and talked to me. I walked up to a couple people and said hi to them but they just walked away from me. It was such a horrid feeling. So I gathered up my stuff and just left. I sat outside and called to asked Nathan to pick me up. I was very upset. I just took the paper and ripped it up on the ground.

Like Sleeping Beauty

ok...so I'm sick again for the THIRD time int he past two months. I think something is really wrong with me immune system. Career Day was crap, but yeah, I only ahd to go to 4th period, in which I slept. I'm looking forward to sleeping all tomorrow too.

I feel like screaming out in song. wow. HAPPEEEEEEEEEH.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 5:42 PM:-