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Sunday, March 27, 2005::

It's Easter Again

So, it's 1:14 in the morning, it's officially Easter. A time where everybody gets dressed up in their nicest Easter Sunday clothes and people who only go to church twice a year come out to go to Easter Services.

Yyyeeeah..

Last year comes to my mind, now let me inform you . . . that my parents never go to church. Ever. Yyeeah. They are one of those people who say "We should go to church"
and i'll say "well, why don't you come with me?"
and they just...don't answer.

So it's last year, the day before Easter I had asked my family to come to church with me for Easter Sunday. Easter morning comes and I get dressed (in my normal clothes) and I walk out of my room and everyone in my house is awake and my family is busy watching TV nbot dressed at all. "...are you guys coming?"
"Coming where???"
"..."
"To church with me?"
"oh, well you didn't ask us"
>.< !!!!!!!

So by that point I was boilding mad, usually I just blow it off because I don't want to say something I might regret, but I was ticked off, all that was running through my mind was how much I hated them and how I wished i had a NORMAL family that had any traditions and did things as a family and all I could think of was how I wanted my fmaily to be like Nathan's. Well, this is where I made my biggest mistake, while my mom was dropping me and my sister off at church all I could do was compare her to Nathan's fmaily and Nathan's mom. And I just kept going on and on, So my mom cracked and basically told me off pretty good. She said stuff about how we may not do great things in my fmaily but that we do some things and that it's good enough, and that she's not Nathan's mom and doens't want to be.
Well, I was terribly ashamed and still angry and embarassed and upset.

So Easter Sunday all I could do was cry the entire time durring the service. The ENTIRE TIME. From the moment I walked in to after I left the service. People were turning around looking at me, asking me if I was okay, Nathan had his arm around me the entire service, and all I could do was cry on his shoulder...

When I got home I was immediately called into my dad's room where I got screamed and cursed at by my father who was more pissed off than my mom was at my attitude from before. I had already been upset and dredding confronting him. He told me I was to apologise. So I left and I did, I apologised to my mom.


So even though my fmaily has faults, I'm not faultless either. I think that's the Easter Lesson. I'm not perfect. And I'm not going to even try to appear to be perfect tomorrow either. i'm going to walk in, in jeans and a T-shirt without my family, and I'm going to praise God like I normally do. No fancy clothes, no visions of fake family perfection. It's just going to be like every other day...

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 1:10 AM:-