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If you wish to think that I am sane, do not read this blog.

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The random penguin will eat you all.






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Weblog Entries:


Thursday, October 30, 2003::

Flight of Thought

stuff and stuff and stuff and stuff and stuff and stuff and stuffstuffstuff

Yesta-day I stayed after school to take a W. History (adv) test which I'm quite sure i FAILED and am therefore failing the class..meaning i'm going to ~DIE~

I had a docta apointment today with the otha guy and He just gave me the same IQ test again. I've now had this IQ test 3 times. And he was like "I'm sure you probably don't remember this test..." and i was just like "uh" and he talked to me like I was a little child and I'm quite certain he didn't remember me. The room was all quiet so I felt like I had to whisper and it made me feel uneasy because he would bearly ever speak and i wouldn't know what to do so i'd shuffle around and stuff. Beeeeh

And Nathan had class today. Beeeh.

And i looked very greepy today when i walked into webmastering and the teacher made met ake it off. I'm quite sure she hates me now. ^_^


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 7:27 PM:-

(0) comments

Monday, October 27, 2003::

A talk with Derrick...or the last half of it

Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
But i can spak l33t.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
no u cant
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
l33t
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
thats old school lang.
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
i can speak it in different ways.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
try newer
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
your a cynic. but whateva.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
hmph
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
7ee+
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
or 733+
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
o yea.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
lol
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
telnet>ip>port
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
ur port 80 is open
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
right.
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
who cares even if it is?
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
virus is uploading now
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
no
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
j/k
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
liiieeee'in through your teeth...your fingers.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
im a good haxor
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
im a good HAXOR
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
haxors are pretty stupid.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
never to destroy
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
hmmph
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
i mean...why would someone want to hack?
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
sure....
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
not just to hack
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
or..scuse me...hax
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
but to understand the computer more efficienclly
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
It might be nifty to know you have the upper hand.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
like networking
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
But it does cost people lots of money if used incorrectly or wrongly.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
HAXOR
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
ys, i get it.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
java
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
ctt
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
c++
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
all easy
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
then be a computer programmer, lol.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
im a whitehead
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
at the age of
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
at the age of
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
at the ago of
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
13
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
HAHA
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
the ago of?
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
LOOZA
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
cracker
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
at least i taste good.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
hmmph i can do taht too HAHA
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
ur a plane not saltine
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
stale cracker
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
HAHA
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
i resonded first about my flavor, therefore your comment doens't effect me.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
yes indeed
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
oui
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
comment 'alle vous
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
There's a lot i would neva do, Some Fantastic I know it's true
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
je suis bein
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
vous?
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
et toi?
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
et
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
et
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
et
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
et
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
toi?
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
GERMAN?
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
non
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
francais
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
francaise
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
pfft. close enough.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
non
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
el espanol es muy...uhh..stupido.
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
stupido= stuida in francais
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
idiot
_______ |Derrick| ¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ just had surgery says:
i g2g
Bye, bye, self respect.. says:
bye


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:11 PM:-

(0) comments
Well

Today was CRAP . . . on so many different levels.


You are Nny
You are Nny, sorry that this quiz focused mainly on
the aspect of his character that causes people
to call him a homicidal maniac. He seems nice
enough when he isn't angry though.


Which Jhonen Vasquez Character are you? Huh? Answer me! I know where you live!
brought to you by Quizilla


The Long Patrol
If YOU were a creature in Redwall, YOU would be a
hare.


What Creature in Redwall would YOU be?
brought to you by Quizilla





-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:41 PM:-

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Sunday, October 26, 2003::

WHAT WHAt WHat What what

Daylight Savings. This is the time of year I love to just sit out in my backyard on my swing and sway back and forth until night falls and i'm forced inside. Just sitting there in my own mind for hours with a single song in my head.

Hopeless romantic? Hopelessly lost? Maybe just hopeless.

I'm going shoe shopping after church. And then i'm coming home and doing I-don't-know-what, so if anyone has any plans for fun, I'm up to it.



-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:17 AM:-

(0) comments

Saturday, October 25, 2003::

Quiz Time

Jhonny
YOUR JOHNNY!!!
You have been to hell and heaven and neoither
wanted you, you have killed.. massacered,
considering yourself a fair judge of death..
your insane, or you put yourself out to be..
Wise you see the world as it can be.. you have
no tolerance for people who judge you..


Which Jhonen Vasquez Character Are You?? {With Images}
brought to you by Quizilla

fallen angel
Your the 'Fallen angel, Drifting through the world
in your tormented and troubled mind, you see
the bad side in everything but only because you
lost your compassion and optimism when you fell
from heaven... you dont understand humans, or
yourself.. but you accept it and live just to
complain { or so it would seem sometimes } your
the dispar in the balence wharas the angel is
topped too much to the other side of the
scale... you live to wonder..


What Type Of Anime Creature Are You? { With Picture images ! }
brought to you by Quizilla


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:52 AM:-

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My "Fortune"

I took a quiz, I just put in my name and my favorite number and like my birthday and stuff and this was my result...


o.O Does anyone else notice something odd?


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 1:56 AM:-

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Jenny's Blog

"...at least i've got Sam and Lisa and Dylan and Phillip."



Aww...I'm not loved.

Shop'n

Well, I left durring the pep rally and went home with Nathan. My dog is so scared of Nathan. Anyways, then i put up my stuff and got my $40 and my $25 gift certificate for Hot Topic (go on . . . groan, whateva), and I got two arm thingos, black nail polish, black lipstick, and an ear ring (yes, 1 ear ring). Then we went to Sears and got a T-shirt and i came out with about $25. We ate at Chic-Fil-A, then of course we watched the saddening beauty pagent that was going on. Those poor children. Anyways, Dylan, Matt, and Bobby's friend was going to be in it, thery dressed her up. I thought she did pretty wonderful. While we were waiting for her time to go up we went to Fink's furnature and layed on their beds and OH MY GOSH, those are THE most comfortable beds I've ever layed on in my life! Well, anyway, after that me and Nathan accidentally took the wrong way to his car and were walking outside the mall. I rather enjoyed it, the cool air was good and being near him made me feel all warm and snuggly inside. :) Well when we got to his car we drove to Shy Pond Park, which, uhh, had people i was sure were drug dealers there. Anyway, I was certain my breath tasted like the chick'n'Stips so we went to the gas stationa nd I bough Big Red(TM) gum. Speaking of I think I left in Nathan's car . . . Well i was kinda in pain and stuff so we just went back to the mall and went to the dollar movie and we saw Second Hand Lions which is an awesome movie! I really liked it. And I came home at 11:20 and showed my parents (most) of the stuff i got and came home with a little more than $22.

And my dog sheds a lot.

Now I'm going to watch Aladdin and sleep.


Feelings

I don't really like Drama. I feel awkward, out of place, and no one really talks to me.

The only reason I havn't killled myself is because Nathan tells me not to.
Without him I'd wander around the world without a purpose until I died from starvation.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 12:47 AM:-

(0) comments

Thursday, October 23, 2003::

Otter Anthro



Another drawing I drew, scanned, and colored with adobe photoshop a long time ago. Now i've revised it and added a background.
Yumm.


By the way . . . if you steal my image without asking me I'll murder you. And I like comments.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:05 PM:-

(0) comments
Can you hear me? Have you forgotten?

I went to the doctor today and they did all their stuff, blood pressure, EKG, urine sample, blood sample. But apearently they didn't get a good EKG reading so after school I had to go back and have it taken 3 more times. (in and EKG they like stick little sticky things to me, hook me up to wires, hook the wires to a computer, and it moniters my heart)
I played with my puppy, attempted ot get her on a walk, but she won't go, she hates the leash, i have to like drag her.
Nathan's in class right now and I havn't hung out with my friends in a long time.
This weekend I'm going shopping, I need shoes, and other various clothes.

When I get my face cleaners I'm gunna be so zit free you'll all be jealous. c(:

I had the weirdest dream last night. I won't tell anyone about it but it was kind of . . . well, a little gross/scarey/weird/odd/particular . . . i hope that doesn't make things awkward. I woke up and was like "...wait"

Anyway. I'm gunna go draw or make something.



-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:01 PM:-

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Wednesday, October 22, 2003::

Denim



I had fun making this:


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:47 PM:-

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Birthday

THIS MORNING ONLINE:

the conversation went something like this:

Rob: Amy!
Amy: hii
Rob: It's a boy!
Amy: umm...
Rob: You mean you didn't give birth today?
Amy: o.O



PRESENTS I RECIEVED and Who From:
-My Puppy ~Family
-Plether Jacket ~Family
-Face Cleansers (which havn't come in yet) ~Mom
-Headphones ~Nathan
-Lots of Bubble Gum ~Nathan
-$25 Gift Card for Hot Topic ~Nathan
-Fish Net Arm Thingys ~D'Mari
-Plad Bracelet with Spikes ~D'Mari
-Birthday Card ~D'Mari
-Old Morning Church Serivice Paper ~Ross
-Birthday Card ~Ms. Ann
-$40 ~Family
-A Whole Latta Pennies ~Becca


And loads of various hugs and "happy birthday"s and I got to wear a 'birthday hat' around Drama all day. Thank Guys!


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:39 PM:-

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Monday, October 20, 2003::

Insanity of lyrics


I had to go
And I will look to you
Never made it as a wise man
I've all but died, fromt he sheer weight of my shame
Gertrude Stein said "That's Enough"
I kind thought that you should somehow
You don't have to be afraid, of what you are...
Now we're flying to the moon and back
I will show you the world
I'll be your love, i'll be your hope, Be everything that you need.
You were worth the way
And you know you can survive!
Someday I'll be back for you
Tired of living like a blind man
It's been one week since you looked at me
You've got off with too much now
Black and White People
And I feel stupid
As water filled your tiny lungs
Please don't be scared, 'caus eif you need me I'll be there
This is how you remind me of what I really am
To justify all the hurt inside
It doens't make a difference if we make it or not.
You know, I love you so, but I won't be thinking about you
I will be strong, I will be faithful, 'cause i'm counting on a new beginning, a reason for living,
When did you last let your heart decide?
WHOA
i'll whipe away your tears
Yesterday you've forgiven me
I want a late night kiss forever, until the sky falls down over me
We gatta hold on to what we got
A New Fantastic Point of View
And I've been changin', I think it's funny that no one knows.
Livin' on a prayer
There is no Roseability
It's just that your weak, can we talk about it?
I love you, that sia ll I ever wanna hear from you


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:05 PM:-

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Moo...Lah

We got a check in the mail, we gots money! And apearently my mom begged the water company not to turn off our water, so it was never shut off.

PSAT tomorrow. Waaah.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:18 PM:-

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Sunday, October 19, 2003::

Overdue

Well . . . our water is being turned off tomorrow because we can't pay the bill. o.O
Yeah, so I was stocking up because i dunno when we're getting it back. "When we pay the bill", well, we don't have any money to pay it! I hope I don't have to shower at other people's houses. Or use the restroom for that matter! Geeez. Why am I making a bigger deal about this then my parents? Psssh. At least I'm preparing.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:42 PM:-

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Playing Councelor

Makes life hard.



-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 7:26 PM:-

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Saturday, October 18, 2003::

I Need a Life



What Anime Art Style Are You?

Goody?



What Anime Stereotype Are You?

Umm...I'm not male o.O



Who's Your Anime Boyfriend?

?I do? o.O ^_^

Other Strange Quizes:

Breast Cancer: Are You at Risk?
Medium Risk: You have a medium risk for developing breast cancer.


Uhhhh... That's not good.



More quizes coming...I think.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:33 PM:-

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Friday, October 17, 2003::

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty

There was a cat under our shed today. But it wouldn't come out. You can even ask Nathan. But tonight the cat came out and was in the front yard and me and my mom got it milk and water and cheese. And we turned on the garage light to look at it better. It's a black cat, and it has mange pretty bad. No collar. And someone cut off it's tail, it tries to sway it butit's not there to sway. And it meows a lot. My mom says it's definatly not a normal cat. I suggested calling the animal shelter tomorrow.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:51 PM:-

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Thursday, October 16, 2003::

Amy's Art Gallary


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 10:08 AM:-

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Tuesday, October 14, 2003::

Faith
I said I'd show pictures a while ago, well, here are a couple.



Cute...the light reflects off her eyes as blue. o_O



DAW, HOW CUTE, SHE'S EATING MY BANDANA . . . . baaaaggh.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:02 PM:-

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Monday, October 13, 2003::

For Even Just a Moment I would Know That I'd Love you Forever

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are..
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know..
Will melt away..
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive!
So when you feel like hope is gone!
Look inside you and be strong!
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you...
It's a long road!
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold...
You can find love!
If you search within yourself
And the empiness you felt
Will disapear...
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside..
And you know you can survive!
So when you feel like hope is gone!
Look inside you and be strong!
And you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you...
Oh, Lord knows, Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone..Tear them away!
Just hold on!
There will be tomorrow!
And in time you'll find a way...
And then a hero comes along!
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside..
And you know you can survive!
So when you feel like hope is gone!
Look inside you and be strong!
And you'll finally see the truth
that a hero lies in you...
that a hero lies in...you...




Nathan, you're my hero.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:02 PM:-

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Still More to Come

HASH(0x87881a0)
avoidant


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Actually, I looked at the symptoms for diagnosis of Avoid Personality disorder and Nathan pointed out that they sounded just like me.

But that's ok, he fit highly under Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. ;)


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:40 PM:-

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Quiz Time

Your Ideal Guy Is
Aladdin


Who's Your Ideal Disney Guy?
brought to you by Quizilla


thoughtful fairy
you are a thoughtful fairy. you listen to your
friends problems and you make sure everyone
around you is satisfied. you write in your
diary and listen to music just to get away from
it all. you are beautiful inside and outside.


(has pretty pictures) what kind of fairy are you? (for gurls)
brought to you by Quizilla


kiss
You like your relationship to have a balance of the
physical and the emotional. You like to connect
but you like also like to occasionally have fun
without worrying about feelings.


**~~**What Kind of Sexy Are You?**~~**
brought to you by Quizilla


your ideal mate is Legolas!
Legolas


Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wait, I don't see the problem here ^_^''''


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:04 PM:-

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Thank yous

Thank you to Tim for being a javascript genious =)

Thank you to Nathan for being my best friend and boyfriend too =)

Thank you to all my friends for being fat =)

Thank you to school for being cause numberous deaths and mental illnesses around the world

Thank you.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 7:59 AM:-

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Sunday, October 12, 2003::

What's Up


  • I'm finally back online
  • I'm finally posing on my blog
  • I've fixed up my blog
  • I'm working on my website Deleted From Society
  • Nathan's still out of town
  • I'm still working on the blog.
  • I'm fat
  • I puppy is a pain in the arse
  • The flowers died
  • My speakers died
  • People at my school keep dying
  • I need music
  • I need money
  • I love Nathan
  • Uhhhhhh.........
  • Food.
  • The end


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 5:57 PM:-

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Tuesday, October 07, 2003::

Quiz Time

I am a Hopeless Romantic

For richer? For poorer? It doesn't matter to you because you're the Hopeless Romantic. Whether your sweetie is an oil baron or a grease monkey, it's all about until death do us part.

Even if you haven't met "the one," you'll judge your soul mate by the love letters, roses, and foot massages — not the size of their bankroll. And even if their wallet is as fat as their sonnet collection, the toughest part of your relationship will be arguing over which charity to choose, who loves whom more, and who's the bigger Schmoopie. And if that diamond ring turns brass, no biggie — your love is totally not-for-profit.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 4:47 PM:-

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It Rained for Me

Picture this... Happy. Giggling uncontrolably. Working Productivly. Now picture the COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF THAT.

That's right . . . Amy was moody today all because of the *ringringoverlyusedfact* that Amy didn't take her medicine today!
Now, this I wouldn't have minded if:


  1. I didn't have school today
  2. Mr. Jones hadn't yelled at me and Nathan today
  3. It hadn't been a "B" day today
  4. I wouldn't have had to proform my piece for Drama in front of the whole class and a camra.


I had my piece ready but i was getting upset and shaking before I was even up there and I knew it was going to be bad but I tried to think positive. I got up there and I was shaking, not noticably. I tried to cram my introduction into my head before it started. He counted down and the camra came on. I started my introduction. The first few words started off pretty well but after a point my voice got quivvery and it startled me a bit and my mind completly went blank..and tried to remmeber it...and i coudln't and my voice was shaking and I was shaking and I laughed outwardly and said "haha..man,i fail.." and i turned ot my piece and started reading...but my eyes watered up and my voice and my hands were shaking and i could feel the eyes on me... and the self hatred came at me and I just put it down and cried and said "I can't do this, I didn't take my medicine today" and walked off before even finnishing the second paragraph. I just sad in my seat and hyperventilated as softly as i could and cried as quietly as I could becaus ei hate crying in front of people.
I cried until the end of class where I walked out and tried to hide my face. Seth asked me if I was ok, and i said yes. Becaus ei was ok . . . i had no reason to be crying besides the fact I just cried in front of the entire Theatre class. I got on my bus and cried more and looked at the window some and looked back down again.
Then i looked up and all a sudden it was raining. The sky wasn't even dark and it was raining. It seemed to fit my mood and I smiled a bit because I knew it rained for me.

Then i came home...beat up my dog (not really) and took my medicine.

The FREAKING end.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 4:36 PM:-

(0) comments

Monday, October 06, 2003::

When Looking in Mirrors

I know a baby
That no one else did know or knew or would or
Whatever, It might be understood
That even in my mind I tell you everything that life has let you
Know...
I know a child who cries out,
For mercy and companionship and understanding and
Whatever, It might be understood
And though within our minds we tell ourself that it's allright
We cry in pain and sorrow when the lights begin to fade
The lights begin to fade.
Fade...
Fade...away
I know a face, that once was bright and shining, and
Whatever, that might be understood
But now there's tears when looking in mirrors and
All I see is me, is a child, a baby, and
It might be understood
But I'm too far and few between the lines of death and misery
That as I pray the time of day slowly drifts to darkness
And the lights begin to fade
And the lights begin to fade
Fade...Fade...Fade...away
As I cry, and as I cry.
-(Me)


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 7:24 PM:-

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Still Sick

My posts are depressing lately. They're not always like this. I don't always feel like a failure, like I belong in a shallow grave with no formal headstone. I don't always feel like giving up, or like crying myself to sleep at night.

Not always.


I deleted all my music except two songs. Darmn you all. That's right, Darmn.

Spinning, and I close the door, and I rest my head on the tile floor, sickness and sleep turning me cold... says:
all my teachers are telling me how awful my work has been. at the very very beginning they were like "Wonderful!" "Great Job!" "Great work quality!"
Spinning, and I close the door, and I rest my head on the tile floor, sickness and sleep turning me cold... says:
and now they're like "what happened?" "you're doing worse" "you're messing up"
Spinning, and I close the door, and I rest my head on the tile floor, sickness and sleep turning me cold... says:
and i'm like "uuhh...don't care."


Padriac my Prince

Right now I'm listening to Padriac my Prince by Bright Eyes. Very depressing song Ross gave me. But I like it. It's where part of my name comes from.

Here's song of the lyrics: (yeah..some)

"i had a brother once
he drowned in a bathtub before he had ever learned how to talk
and i don't know what his name was but my mother does
i heard her say it once, padriac my prince i have all but died from the
sheer weight of my shame. you cried but no one came and the water filled your
tiny lungs. appear, my dear, and sing to me. it was six years ago today that
we laid you in your grave, your sweet young skin was shining then too.
and so tonight to celebrate i will poison myself.
another coughing, shaking fit in a bathroom that is spinning.
so i close the door and rest my head on the tile floor,
sickness and sleep turning me cold.
i am still not sure, is there some better place i should be heading towards?"






-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 7:19 PM:-

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Comments

Comments fixed.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 7:12 PM:-

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Sunday, October 05, 2003::

PARTY TIME

...for everyone but me. Yeah. Today was Ross's, Abby's, Tim's birthday. They all ahd something going on. And I wasn't invited or even informed on any of them. I feel pretty disapointed and sad. I was informed about Ross's party 6 minutes before it was suppose to start. I was so depressed I just decided not to go to church, well, my parents wanted em to watch the Trading Spaces and there were only going to be girls there at church and everyone at church hates me anyways. heh. They just kind of... stare at me or overlook me or give me this glare. Some say hi...but never more than a hi.

Anyway, I'm sick, not physically, just mentally sick...sick of school, sick of everything. I want to drop out. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people and of food and of drink. I just want to run away and lay down somewhere until eventually wither away into nothing. Give up all future. Who needs a future? Who need money? Or food? Or water? Or life? Not me.


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:08 PM:-

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Saturday, October 04, 2003::

Sweet Sixteen





-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:38 PM:-

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Friday, October 03, 2003::

HAPPY SIX MONTHS!
Happy Six Months, Nathan! *hug* =)


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:33 AM:-

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Down Time

My dog ate my phoneline. o.o


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:33 AM:-

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Wednesday, October 01, 2003::

School

I'm at school in Web Mastering. I woke up at 6:30 this mornign with 10 minutes ot get ready and catch my bus. Everyone was running late. I find out Drama Auditions TOMORROW and I need ot do my second selection!! GAAHHHHHH.

ANYWAY, I'm gunna go to 3rd period soon. Heh. English.

Anyway, puppy is cute and good and i have churhc today.

Baiz


-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:33 AM:-

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