Welcome to Shady Dreams // "Loading..." //

Credits

Design MKdesign //
Hostest Blogger //
Template Blogskins //

Monday, March 31, 2003::

Joined a blog with my friends. Isn't that great? Fat Blog for Fat People

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:45 PM:-

sigh . . .

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:16 PM:-

I'm such a procastinator. My english project is due tomorrow. I've had this project for a month and I only started today!!! Luckily I know what I'm doing. I'm making a website about Romeo and Juliet. I wonder if she'll deduct point because the title is Romeo y Juliet which is Spanish and it's suppose to be a English class? Irony. Mweehee. I bet everyone else will make ink. Foolish children.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:04 PM:-

I wish I could sleep . . . but the bugs are eating me alive!!!
Where the heck did they come from? Maybe I'm going insane. I itch all over but I have no bites but I FEEL them biting me at night. I've never seen them either. I sprayed my bed with "lice and bedbug spray" last night because I was paranoid. Then slept on it. And it almost killed me. And then the bugs tried to kill me. yup...

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 12:28 PM:-

Today was great. Except that my mom got really upset and angry at me for saying on the phone to Nathan that I didn't want to do any family things. She kinda misinterrpreted it. I had alreayd had previous plans, and I came home, and they alla sudden pulls this up. I was just frustrated because It interfered with things. You know? So I hurt my mom's feelings and I didn't exactly get to go to the place me and Nathan were planning on. Which I'm still sorry for, by the way, Nathan, if you're reading this! lol. But I had a good time. Good people, good fun, good conversations, good coffee. Also thank yo, Nathan, for paying for my coffee. :)

As for me boycotting the school system . . . I give up. They win. Maybe not. I'm sitll going to starve myself so I can have money ^_^'''. And I guess I should pay Mr. White the $5 for coming to see the play!! I still wonder if I made Advanced Drama. Oh well . . . Hey! I should start working on my english project. I'm making a website for it. I think I'm not going to try use frames this time. 'Cause I'd have to learn stuff for it. I'll keep it simple but organized and pretty. yup.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 10:22 PM:-

Amy there's nothing wrong! This day turned out awesome! ...So far :)

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:21 PM:-

Something bad's about to happen . . .

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 4:15 PM:-

Gooood Morning, Blog. Lets see what punishment life has in store for me today! Oh BOY!

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:41 AM:-

Ah, today . . . was it great or horrid? Or some confused mixture of both? I vote for that. FIRST off, I was . . . um, rather moody today. Just to start things off. But it was overall a good day. I didn't do any of my work in Biology and i got things done in Keyboarding. Spanish always sucks but what can I do? It's Spanish! Yo estoy consado! Yep. That says "I feel tired" or "I am tired"...whatever. I dun remembevr what estar means. Bleh. ^_^ But yeah . . . What sucked was lunch. I knew there was something wrong when I started walking over towards main campus instead of 9th grade campus. I felt this feeling of being where I shouldn't. But I'm always over on main campus. Grr. Well, I was actually going over there to go to the Drama room to see Nathan and jump around in front of the door, but there was a lady gaurding the place. Damn communists. So yeah, I got over there and i-er-I had to go to the little girls room ;) so i went in there and Nathan's cousin Shelly comes in! She's nice. I didn't recognize ehr at first but she saw me and said hi and I was like "Oh, hi!" Well after that I went and got in line for food. Mm...food. I was in line and all my "friends" walk up and they're all being pushy and stuff. Johnathan (my "daddy"), like, puts his hand near my chest and is all "Why do I feel so comfortable...?" And I was all "Erm. Escuse me." I think I'm used to all their pervertedness. Then he kept hugging me. And I was frightened. And my "mommy" (Kayla) gave me a hug. Then johnathan poured the rest of his drink down my neck. Then I ate and I kept wanting togo tot he Drama room even though I knew I coudln't. So I started running for the door (this is about my 2nd time to do this that day) and Mark goes: "Should I go get her?" and D'Mari stands there a minute then goes "...Yes." And Mark takes off running after me and I'm like "Nnnoooooo!" and I Run and get to the door but he grabs me and lifts me up and CARRIES me back. The whole time me glaring and having my arms crossed then shaking a fist at D'Mari. Then I sat on the concrete and pouted. All a sudden the vice-preincipal whats-her-name comes up and goes "WHAT grade are you in?" and I was thinking "Ohh...crap." And I told her I was in 9th grade, as did Mark. She asked our names and we told her. So she tells us to follow her and she takes us into her office and questions our names and such and writes it all down on a referral slip and tells us to leave then tells us "And stay off our campus!" ....stupid bitch. I feel so trapped on freshman campus. I like the outsideness of main campus. *growl* so yeah---as I said I was moody so I started balling...I balled the rest of spanish and part of Drama. In drama people made I seem better though and then I was balliand laughing at the same time. It's rather odd. But yeah.

Then Church was great! I was confused at first and late, but I really got to talk to people :) And I was just content mostly the entire time. Yeah. Well . . . Music calls my name. Fare thee well. Love yas.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 10:03 PM:-

My mom hates me. She hates me for everything. She gets mad at me when i'm happy! She's always suspicious of me. I hit my tooth on the chair at the end of the drama play when we stood up to clap for everyone and busted my lip. She was suspicious because I busted my lip. She was suspicious because I was HAPPy after the play. God! What is WRONG with my family. I think I should just die and do the stupid world a favor!!! I WAS happy and off in my own little world - - now I'm just crying. I hate you.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:24 PM:-

my website: Deleted From Society Yeah. Have fun.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 5:49 PM:-

"Authority Song" by Jimmy Eat World is awesome.

. Everyone's changed. I don't think the world is right side up. Different people, different personalities. I need some friends. I don't think I have any actual friends that truly give a fuck. I'd love to have just crazy, caring, random, good-hearted, NON-DRUGGIE friends that actually give a shit. I think I need a hug. Too bad no one cares enough to give me one. Not a real one anyways.
I don't know anyone!!! Ech. All I do is look back and admire people for their humor and their randomness, and I think "Man, I'd like to be their friend" But I don't think they'd actually care about me . . . It seems to me like the only reason people hang around me anymore is because they have to or because I tell them to. Man, I suck.

I just need some new friends that are willing to accept me. I'm goign to go drink some caffeine now so I can stay happy. Without it I die.

Bye . . .

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 5:39 PM:-

"Daydream"



Sitting in this large room, with people everywhere
It seems so small, so lonly, like no one else is there
The conversations laugh and roar
But my thoughts are all that's clear
My mind is lost among this crowd of people standing near




So yeah. Why are you still reading this? I wonder if anyone is even reading this at all. I wouldn't be surprized if no one did. But yeah. Life's been up and down but right now it's ranging in between it all. I'm either rather fine or kinda down. You know how those times are? And when people ask you what's wrong you don't have much else to say but "fine". Ah, "fine" . . . the automated response. But I'm not extreamly sad or extreamly happy because, well, I don't know if everything's going to turn out my way. I'm risking a lot right now . . . friendships, other people's frinedships. What's up with that? I think I'm about ready to go into hiding and just get away from everyone . . . Which isn't fun and makes me want to go back to the bad way of life . . . but I can't do that because I have a future with better friends, right? Well that's what I don't know. I don't think I'll ever be actually excepted somewhere. The many ways my life could turn out:


-I go back to the bad way of life - screw up my already slightly crumpling and worthless reputation - and end up getting killed


-I go back to the bad way of life - screw up my already slightly crumbeling and VERY worthless repuation - and end up killing myself in some public place in front of tons of people

-Go into hiding and become a mole . . . become physically sick because I'm always stupidly depressed because I avoid people and social situations in fear of being rejected so I just grow to hate everyone and myself and end up either killing myself or dying from a heart attack. (both are probably very likley)

-Try to move towards a good way of life and leave behind many people. Become very very intune with God and become good and obediant and work very hard on my grades and try and get into some very good collage and stuff.

Man. That's all depressing. *smacks self* *sighs and kicks people* ech. Actually I don't think I'm depressed, I think I'm just bored. I've just been trying to entertain myself today.
It's not fair. My lil' sister naggs for a rabbit and they actully take her to go look at rabbits at the pet store!! (of course ther were none) ((I saw the ferrets...and I wanted one. But that's irrelivant)). Then we went to Walmart . . . and my brother got a video game. And my dad got shoes. And I get nothing -_- gees!

So no DDR or a ferret for me . . . they're both about the same price. Oh well. No one cares. Shut up.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:33 PM:-

Otay-here I am again. My day today was over-all fine. The morning was the best part and over all the most interesting part of my day. :) I'm sleeping in late again, no more 5 a.m. wakeings.

In Biology we did basically NOTHING. We did do SOMETHING amazingly. But I did it very fast and the rest of the day was mine. My Biology class usually does abosultly nothing. Sometimes the teacher doesn't even come in the room until 15 to 30 minutes later. Sometimes he doesn't even give us an assignment. But yeah. Biology's okay. It would be better I suppose if they'd talk about something other then their sex lives and Wayne. *shudder* They're open people, but some things I guess I'd prefer not to listen to.

And ALONG those same lines, I was very unhappy at lunch. My friend wanted me to sneak off with her to main campus lunch but we got caught by the school cop who made us go back. Grrr. So I was stuck there being begged to go to main campus, with me refusing, and them moping around because they don't wanna go if I don't go and they weren't having any "fun". So I had to sit there and listen to them talk about sex and drugs and brekaing the law and such. WHY do I even put up with that stuff? The commented on my quietness which was scaring them and I eventually just got up and left. Because I just don't like it and I'm not standing for it anylonger. I really need new friends . . .

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 5:45 PM:-

This is my fast little post before I go to bed.

Yup. My day was fine besides the fact I can't get AWAY from these stupid pests. They follow me. I'm going crazy. Egh. School's Back.
I ate school food today . . . it gave me a heart attack (or something like it . . . possibly heart burn) then I was restless until I got home and ate my ass off (figurativly speaking) and then jumped around which made me sick . . . so I cuddled up with my kitty pillow and fell asleep. Now it's past my bed time and I'm not tired. Drat.

For some reason I keep waking up at 5am compleatly wired . . . *eats your shoe* yum.

Bye!

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 10:29 PM:-

Hello. This is my post for today. Not much going on. Just saving lots of pictures. I was going to show you many pictures of me and my family but I decided that I didn't want to mutate the blog. So, I carefully chose one picture that is small and shows who I am. All other pictures will be posted later or perhaps you'll just have to get them yourself. Who knows how many creeps there are out there. Well, as for me . . . here I am!



[if the image doens't show up, either the server has an error, or too many people have viewed it for today!]

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 1:32 PM:-

Ah! Greetings. Seems I have not blogged today. But that's okay. Because I've been working on the formatting. Yup.
Today I have been doing much multi-tasking. I'm thinking of letting people join my blog. Only problem is . . . which blog do I want them to join?! *muses* They could join this blog ( The Dark Corner of my Mind ^-^ ) or they could join my new blog (The Hobo Life) I'm thinking more along the lines of The Hobo Life . . . or to delete that one and form a new alliance? Hrm... *more musing*


Hey! I want to have a comments page too! *pout* How do I do that though?!


Any tips form any on viewers send to TheRandomPenguin@hotmail.com . . . or even better just IM me!

Yuh babblo rebba! Vosh end ist quate!

-Fare thee well.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 3:05 PM:-

Wee...I started a NEW blog today. Isn't it great? Have fun!


Nooo! The Hobos Are Taking Over The WORLD!!

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 9:30 PM:-

Today has been somewhat good for me, although it passed me by faster then I could keep track of time . . . But I think several things were resolved between friends. At least partially, I think. Which is great!
My natural instincts to run and hide from the whole complex situation didn't ever take effect. I think perhaps it's because I have this gut feeling . . . this trust that God is on my side. Everything thing will turn out great in the end and IN the end . . . we'll all look back and see just how rediculous and over-dramitizing we made things. It's days like this that make me wish the world was as understanding and forgiving. But, alas, it's . . . well, . . . not. But that's ok too.

Being on spring break is great! Don't you agree? Except for the fact that I have essentially NOTHING to do with my days. *slight laughter*

I want to test this HTML . . .

Have a GREAT day!

Bye!

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 8:08 PM:-

OK, I think I'm finnally getting a hang of this blogger mess. Yay! Goooo Amy! *cheer* Erm-yeah ^_^ Here's another random poem of mine...enjoy:



"Lost for Words"

I'm lost for words at the foot of the earth

The voices in my mind are all running on at once

I'm speaking, I'm talking, but no one understands

I'm so foriegn to them, they can't comprehend

When life's this way all you can do is bow down your head

And wish you could pray

But your minds so full, it goes astray

Why does God let me feel this way?

Can't keep still with this burning desire

To run around the world, my heart's on fire

So charred, so blackened, I can't tell between

The difference of words and the meaning

Of it all, if all I needed was one last phrase

I'd tell the world to love til the end of their days.

- by me (steal and die MoFo!)


-Bai!

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 11:19 PM:-

Ah, it's been a couple of days. I ask myself today . . . where the hell did my motivation run? I don't know wether to clean my room, write, chat . . . or to just sleep my day away! I've been laying in bed mostly. No sleep, I had a very rough night. All my energy kicked in right as I tried to sleep and I was restless the whole night long. Tossing and turning and tossing and turning for hours. I think at the most I gor 4 or 5 hours of sleep. Not tired at the moment. Just lacking motivation . . .



So I guess you've come to read some stuff about me, huh? Aye. Well . . . what to say? You probably know all about me already. Or do you? Just incase . . . I'll give you some basics.



Yeah, my name's Amy - if that wasn't obvious enough. I'm 15 yrs old and my birthday is October 22! So I'm a Libra? Yup. Us peace and balance loving Libras. Maybe astrology is just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo stuff, but it's fun anyways. If you havn't noticed, I write. Poetry seems to be all I can finnish but I write stories as well.

I'm settled down, maybe not willingly, in a suburban region in south eastern Texas. I live with My mom and my dad (Someone please stop me before I sound all loving...) and my 12 year-old brother (Paul) and 6 year old sister (Rebecca). I also have a half-sister who's 23 years old . . . last time I checked she lives in Maryland. (Her name is Amanda)

Social status: Ah . . . society and their constant nagging. But how do I rank when it comes to falling between the clashes of superficiality and disgrace? That depends on who you see me as. Some people would look at me and say "Druggie gothic child with no future in mind". Others look at me and say, "She's a geek. She's just . . . a geek." Some have even classified me as a "Prep"!! But it takes those who know me to actually piece it together and say "She's just herself".

And what is my future you ask? I don't know, I can't even see as far as 3 hours from now. But if your talking career intrests . . . I have my eye set on something in psychology. Or writing novels. Or living on the streets as a homeless vagabond never knowing where I might end up. Trash can in New York today...cardboard box in Chicago tomorrow! ...hey kid, gimme a bite of your burger! WWeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! *pounce*

Cheery-o!

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 1:06 PM:-

Ah, Here I am after so long, it seems. And it has. My mind seems to be such a whirlpool of emotions. People pressuring in on me as well as my mind tormenting me. I'm so numb now...I can not even begin to tell you. I havn't much to say. But I will post a poem of mine, aye? Do not steal or I will eat you.





"Just Like This Dream"



"Glorious sun, where hath thou run?

Behind the clouds that fill this dream?

No light hath touched my path in days

Nothing here is what it seems.

Hold me closer, darkened shadow

And lead me on my way

Help me find these words to speak

Before I forget my lines to say.

Oh, saddened flower

Why hath thou wilt?

Has no water touched your root so long?

I'm just like you, so softly built.

I fear myself doth not belong."


-by Me.


Thank you, come again.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 6:34 PM:-