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Friday, April 02, 2004::

*shoot self in head*

now the world's a better place.

I'm just starting to feel worse everyday. maybe I should shoot myself in the head. Nathan'll cry and stuff but yeah, he'll get over it. no one else would even notice.

I'm so sick of myself and everyone. I'm just really tired of it. I'm starting to think I really really just want to do it.

I'm tired of walking around realizing I don't have friends and that I suck but that everyone else is stupid or that I'm unworthy.
I'm tired of people looking at me like I'm a little kid, or like I'm inferior to them.

I'm tired of feeling out of place, different, hated, unnoticed, and un-understood.

Go ahead, think I'm stupid, and complaining, and doing this to get attention. I don't want you attention, I don't care if you listen or not, I know I'm not stupid, I don't even want you freaking comments.

You ever feel like the damage hes already been done?
and it would be too awkward to go back to how it was?

I know each person out there has an "issue" with me.

Well I don't care. If you're so much better than me to fix it, then I don't care what issue you have with me. Or maybe I do care, because it hurts, a lot. And a lot that you can't even look at me as a freakin' human being that makes mistakes but is trying to work to overcome them.

If you want an issue with me here you go...I give up trying seem worthy in your eyes. It's not YOUR eyes I need to seem worthy in.

I lost my voice...

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 7:00 AM:-