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Thursday, June 03, 2004::
Why do they exist?
Nearing the end of school, I started getting pretty irritated and angry and numb. Whether anyone noticed or not. Suddenly I looked around and I was surrounded by Perverts, who talking about hot girls, talking about having sex, talked about other sexual things, talked about porn, talked about females in a perverse manor. Talking about their own parts crudely. Females even talking about all this, talking about havinhg sex last night, sluts, who give themselves away freely, etc.
People who think that clothes make the person, and though I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, they live their life by magazines that tell girls how it's ok to act and how it's not okay to act. That's their Bible. That's their life. They're as deep as a 50-something page magazine. They're as deep as that really!hot!guy!they!met!last!friday!night!
The druggies and the racists who, along with being perverts, are stupid beyond reason. Drugs are what they worship and they can make fun of people for being white, mexican, black without being talked back to. And everyone just ignores it. And everyone just ignores it. And everyone just ignores it. Apearently the law still doesn't abide that it doens't matter what color you are.
And then the ones that hurt me the most . . . I admired them slightly, for they were known for being good Christians, everyone liked them, they were on the verge of being superficial but their love for God made them different, they didn't seem to follow their life by THAT book, the 50-page superficial standards. I'd watch them in class. I wasn't friends with them, but that doens't stop you from thinking someone's a pretty cool person. And then your watching them one day, and they start talking to their friends, they're not a virgin? What? Well, maybe it was some mistake in the past, she doesn't look too happy about it, maybe that was before she became a Christian. Her friends didn't even know about it, they're all shocked...they're asking ehr about it...she doens't want to answer them. Still in shock but I brush it off, you know what that's like. It still burns to me like a scar though.
I'm in history class, I don't really have any friends in there, so I sit, and listen, everyone's gathered in their own little groups of friends. I'm sitting in my desk alone, I zone into the conversation going on right beside me. The same girl, and more people, people you'd think were good people, people you thought were Christians, talking about past experiences with getting drunk...and high...and laughing about it . . . now they're talking about getting drunk on the last day of school. My mind goes numb. I hate people. I hate people. I hate hypocrites. I hate them. I wish they'd all die. Is that Christian of me, though? To just want them to all disapear off the face of the earth, to never come back. All of them. This perverse generation. This perverse generation.
You always say goodnight.
-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 10:42 AM:-
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