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Saturday, July 30, 2005::

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I've been thinking a lot about people who have friends backing them up durring difficult situations. I suppose I got involved in someone's else's problem because It reminded me of things that had occurred before. And a lot of people thought that the problem should have been resolved between the two people, but the reality was that it wasn't going to happen. Not in the way that was suggested anyway. Because in order for them to resolve it themselves, the idea of one group of people was to tear another person apart.

It's kinda like gang wars, you know?

I think the thing about when Mark made fun of me (or anyone) was that most people in that group of people did too. And it was just kinda angering for them to point at Mark as the one who made fun of me. But at least I've gotten apologies from Mark. When I talked to him after he started hanging out with me and Nathan more he finally realized that I was a person. and a COMPLETELY different person than Nathan. Nathan doens't deserve all the crap people say about him. He's honestly the sweetest person alive, even if he doesn't always pay attention to things all the time.

I think the thing is that we're all 17 and 18 and older now and you start seeing who everyone is going to be as an adult. In reality I'll probably hardly ever see anyone I knew from school or otherwise ever again after I leave for college. Not that I'll care that much, I'll be busy living my own life.

I saw this one girl from school yesterday who i'd seen around since like the 6th grade. It was crazy enough for watch her change from who she was in 6th grade to who she was in 7th grade. Then when I saw her yesterday she was still the same person. I listened to her and another girl talk about loving their boyfriends. And I kinda felt like they didn't even really know what love was. I guess to get a picture of this girl . . . she's very pretty, very popular, very 'trendy'. The thing is she'll probably be like that for the rest of her life. (with exception of something truely dramatic happening).

Thinking about a lot of people I used to be friends with . . . I'm really glad I'm not like them. I'm glad I won't have a lot of the same problems they will in adult life.

Hmm... I just read up on my post agian about when Mark used to make fun of me and it reminded me of a guy in jr. high who used to mess with me a lot. Knock my books off my desk, and laugh in my face and insult me and stuff. I hated him. I hated him SO much. I wanted to kill him (yeah I was pretty depressed back then and self-concious enough to care that much about an asshole). Last year in government class he came in as a new students into my class (apearently he had moved and moved back?) and one day everyone in the class was just kinda hanging out and talking to one another in groups and he called me over to his desk. Frankly, I was a little scared. I didn't really know what to expect. He asked me about some college stuff, and then it basically felt like he apologised to me for being stupid to me in the past. He told me that he used to be really stupid and everything but that he'd changed his way of thinking and he was better now. He was pretty nice and I totally respected him for that and let go of all that past pain. Mark was mean enough to say things about me, even if it wasn't to my face. People can see things differently once they open their eyes. And at least they apoloigised. It's all about forgiveness, guys.

-: Amy Kelley blogged it up at 5:20 PM:-